If Life Serves You Lemons…Get Extra

My wife and I dine out a fair amount of time.  We like the convenience.  We like the social atmosphere.

We also like lemons.

Lots of lemons.

She squeezes them bone-dry and then places them in her water.  I commit the same violence…then commit my lemons to both my water and my unsweetened ice tea.  (More on sweeteners in a future post.  My sweetie apparently has issues with how many sweeteners I am sweet on per glass.)

Lemons are, to us, considered critical flavor components of the beverage piece that serves as a foundation of sorts for a pleasurable dining experience.

We order “extra” lemons.

But we can’t get all the lemons we want…because ordering “extra” lemons often means different things in different places.

At some establishments, we will get two each instead of one each.  That is apparently considered “extra” at those places.  At others, we will get three each.  Now we’re getting somewhere.

Some locations will actually bring out a whole bowl full of lemon slices.  Eight, nine…even ten on occasion.  This is when we achieve what we like to refer to as “Lemon Heaven.” A bowl full of ’em.  A beautiful sight to behold.

Now of course, there’s the afore-mentioned acquisition of the lemons.  Another part of the equation is how they are delivered.  The bowl clearly is the big winner here, because aside from the generous quantity they are all uncut slices not compromised by being edged…for garnishment on a glass.  You get to squeeze an uncompromised lemon when it comes delivered via bowl.

Of course, for those lemons who do appear before us dangling precariously from the drinks themselves, there is still hope because they are still easily accessible and…of course…not in the drinks.

Which brings us to the worst-case scenario for lemon lovers, known in our circles as the “Floating Lemon Fiasco.”

Lemons are to be squeezed to extract their juice prior to being committed to the beverage in question, not simply dunked in a drink.  If one wants to squeeze these submerged, juice-filled lemons they have to excavate them first.  This is messy, unnecessary and quite frankly an abomination to all lemon lovers everywhere.  It leaves us with…well…a sour taste.

This is a call to action for all eateries and bars everywhere.  Don’t drown lemons.  Lemon lovers want to savor that sensation of squeezing their juice into their beverage, ensuring every last drop has been captured…and then and only then committing the fruit of our labor to its final resting place.

And when we say “extra”…we mean “extra”…


About sportsattitudes

I'm Bruce. Born, raised and still outside the City of Brotherly Love. Managed (so far) to visit a dozen of our United States and Canada (twice). Addicted from birth to Television/Movies/Sports. Took three years of French and got credit for two of 'em.
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4 Responses to If Life Serves You Lemons…Get Extra

  1. Just be sure when you go to buy your next car you don’t ask the dealer for an “extra lemon.”


  2. Lisa, I co-sign lemons and cars should never, ever be mentioned in the same breath.


  3. I. Love. Lemons.

    I put those things in every drink I have and try to sneak them into almost every meal possible. When I eat out and am feeling too cheap to order a real drink, I’ll ask for extra lemon wedges and then squeeze them into my water, and then follow it up with 2 packs of sweetener. Voila…I have just created lo-cal lemonade.


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