AARP – Aggressive Aging Reminder Program

I am now officially being stalked by the AARP.

I get emails.  I get mailings.  Phone calls haven’t happened yet…but I tend to screen calls…so perhaps I have been set up on their auto dial for some time now and they’re simply waiting for me to let my defenses down but once.

I get it, AARP.  I’m over fifty.

Actually, I turned fifty-three in May so I’m not even fifty percent sure why AARP recently turned up the heat on pursuit…looking for my $16 fee to join an organization which I associate with…well, aging.

I’d prefer to turn the calendar pages of my life only as required without being constantly reminded I am…old-er.  While I understand AARP is on the front lines fighting for very important rights, it just doesn’t seem to me to be a group I personally want to list on my resume or portfolio…yet.  (My wife surely doesn’t want me to be associated with AARP…she’s five years younger and to be honest I’m not sure exactly what age she’s using these days…)

Admittedly, I have not contacted AARP in an attempt to get myself off their age-dar.  My excuse is I have been getting periodic solicitations from them even as I was approaching fifty…but not very often…and not so much once I “turned the corner” either.

The stalking level wasn’t attained until the last few months or so.

Perhaps the most recent communique holds the clue why they now are so hot for me…an email with the subject line “Bruce, Don’t Miss Out, Be Entered For A Chance To Meet Betty White.”  Yes, beloved Betty, whose career has gone viral in large part courtesy of TV Land’s “Hot In Cleveland.” 

The operative word there is chance.  I am promised a free travel bag for joining up.  I only get a one-in-a-million shot at meeting Betty.

She certainly doesn’t act her age on that show…or maybe she does…I’m not that old yet.  I wouldn’t know.  Maybe I will live that long to find out.

In any case I just want to go a little bit longer before crossing over the mental threshold of being old-er…old enough at least to be a card-carrying member of AARP.

Unless they offer a chance to meet Valerie Bertinelli.

That travel bag did look handy.


About sportsattitudes

I'm Bruce. Born, raised and still outside the City of Brotherly Love. Managed (so far) to visit a dozen of our United States and Canada (twice). Addicted from birth to Television/Movies/Sports. Took three years of French and got credit for two of 'em.
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2 Responses to AARP – Aggressive Aging Reminder Program

  1. Lisa Tognola says:

    I feel your pain, Bruce. I’ve started getting solicitations from AARP. Worse yet, Victoria’s Secret stopped sending me their catalog.


  2. Lisa, that’s twice the pain!


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