5 Reasons Rapture Starts As Scheduled

1. The weather.  It rains all the time in some places and never in others.  Things are so very wrong people.  We saw all this coming a long time ago, even if the Weather Channel never manages to.  It’s not just the last year or so…it’s been flat-out unbalanced for a while now.

2. The song “Jar Of Hearts” by Christina Perri.  It has now sold over 2 million digital copies in the U.S. alone.  I only needed two jars, one for each ear.

3. “CSI” just got moved to Wednesday night.  Has been on Thursdays since early 2001.  Now it has to follow “Criminal Minds.”  When “CSI” is not the show that features the sickest, most gruesome criminals writers ever dreamed up on the evening it airs, that’s not good karma.

4. Mary Hart quits “Entertainment Tonight” this week.  She’s been on that thing since 1982.  That’s a sign right there something is wrong with the cosmos.  I saw her sing in concert once.  The place was later torn down.  It wasn’t because of her performance.  I think.

5. Oprah’s last “Oprah” show has been scheduled for next week.  Are you kidding me?  This is reason enough to expect the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  I wonder if she already booked Conquest, War, Famine and Death to appear?

Gotta go…

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About sportsattitudes

I'm Bruce. Born, raised and still outside the City of Brotherly Love. Managed (so far) to visit a dozen of our United States and Canada (twice). Addicted from birth to Television/Movies/Sports. Took three years of French and got credit for two of 'em.
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8 Responses to 5 Reasons Rapture Starts As Scheduled

  1. Lowdogg says:

    Great post. #2 got an out-loud laugh.

    Like

  2. Tipsy Lucy says:

    LOL! This is great. Love your wit!
    I’ve not heard Jar of Hearts, but I now I must seek it out so I can laugh even more heartily.
    Wow, Mary Hart. She’s leaving? I had no idea. Man, ’82? So much time has passed! Didn’t she insure her legs for a million?

    Like

  3. Troy says:

    Beautiful day here on the last day on earth! Soaking it in!

    Like

  4. I wonder how many people will be left to download “Jar Of Hearts”…? Then again, they’ll probably be busy with other things.

    Like

  5. Pammy Girl says:

    Do you think any of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are single?

    Like

  6. Reportedly, much interest in the marital status of each of the Four Horsemen and will be revealed on an upcoming TMZ…unless Oprah gets it out of them first!

    Like

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