This morning’s Inbox featured spam greeting me with the subject line “Are You Snoring Yourself To Death?”
Maybe I am. What’s it to you? If I am, I certainly don’t need to be prompted to address the issue. The spammer obviously doesn’t know I have a procedure in place to reduce that likelihood. Pot.
Anyway, found myself thinking of things making me somewhat more likely to see the Grim Reaper sooner than later. The list is in no particular order:
1. Continuing to drive an automobile. Anywhere. Every day I see someone execute something with a car I, a) never thought I would see and, b) never thought anyone would try.
2. Eating too much saturated fat. I like fat. Flavor = fat. Did not need a “Breaking Story” on CNN to tell us all that, did we?
As you can see, this isn’t an extensive list. With the prices of gasoline at record levels, we all may be able to increase our longevity because most autos in service still require gasoline of some grade…and how will we afford to stay on the roads? I just learned AAA reported a 20% increase in membership service calls for the simple reason drivers had run out of gas. People are still driving…but trying to save money on current expenses by keeping the fuel level fractional.
Save yourselves first, people. You probably don’t want to hit “E” at 70 MPH with someone drafting on your back bumper like the final lap at Daytona. Perhaps y’all should cowboy up and at least keep those gas tanks filled halfway at all times. (remember you have to sit out other folks’ accidents also…)
Cars reportedly run better with more fuel in them anyway and, if you are hit, having the weight of more gasoline in your vehicle assists in keeping it from going airborne.
I may still have to drive at risk, but my car will have the proper amount of gas in it from now on. This will help me live longer in the long run if I do “connect” with someone on the roadways. I feel safer already. I have reduced my exposure to an early demise.
How you might ask am I planning to pay the higher fuel costs?
Since food products without fat – allegedly to help you live longer – generally cost more…I’ll continue to fuel myself with fat (and FLAVOR, thank you)…saving me more cash for fuel.
Glad I got that spam this morning after all. Now I know I’m on the right track. I at least did something to increase my life expectancy.